I'm having a realy "emo" night for lack of a better term...no not even emo, I'm just really angry and annoyed and pissed off. I tired of all of the bullshit that people do and it's really too much to handle right now. I just want to be done and tell that person that I'm not sitting around waiting and my life did actually go on while they were gone. And now I don't need them. F**k it I'm over it.

Hello friends...
So today was pretty good. I have to say, the morning got off to a really sketchy start but I've already told this story a few times so I'll keep it short. Basically, my neighbor (who is this really old lady, not to sound mean, i mean that to state a fact, shes like in her 80s) but anyway, shes kinda the lady thats all the little kids are scared of to give you an idea of her. Anyway, she asks me to go into her house to help her with the volume on her TV. I felt really bad and didn't want to be mean so I went. I know she was probably just lonely and wanting to talk to someone even for just a sec, so that's why I did it. But I have to say I was kind of scared going into her house. And I was already running late for school. So i was really late. But it all worked out.
Oh, side note, has anyone ever heard Neon Tiger by The Killers? I'm listening to it now and it's just captivating...and I'm not even saying that because of my infatuation with The Killers lol, the message behind it is just so deep. And I will probably blog about it later on but that would be really long and this is already long lol.
So we had a college visit from NIU and that was kind of mind numbing...not to be mean, I'm just not interested. It seems like a good school just not where I want to be. But much more importantly, we had a speaker come in from San Diego, awesome dude, total west coast surfer guy. Anyway, he was talking about abstinence and chastity and purity and all of that good stuff. I'm not going to lie, I was totally not into the idea at all and was a little adamant on listening to what he had to say. And honestly, like I was a little freaked out by the idea of a MAN coming into an all-girl school and talking about not having sex. Just a little ironic to me, but anyway...oh he made Mr. Shelton wear a wig and he carried him to prove a point. It was epic lol. But I need to get to the point so here it is. It was actually kind of eye opening and he really did a good job of presenting his case. I mean he wasn't all like "oh that's a sin you're going to hell...sex is dirty, bad bad bad!". No not anything like that. He gave us legit stories that I think a lot of us were secretly relating to. And it really is making me look at some decisions I've made in my life and it's making me feel like I should maybe try changing some of these things. I don't think I will get into nitty gritty details, but I will say that I realized that a lot of how guys perceive us is about what we let them perceive. And sure there are lots of jerks with their heads completely in the gutter and those are the ones we just need not deal with. But there are lots of guys out there who are yearning for a relationship with a real independent woman who they can respect, they just don't see us respecting ourselves too much. And bc generally speaking, boys are just stupid, and also just over-flooded with certain messages saying what is manly and what is not (9xs outta 10 saying that the "manly" men are the players, even though we all know it's bull) they don't understand that they should treat us with respect at all times. So we have to spell it out for them. Just like everything else. I really loved the idea of making a list of qualities you want in a guy, more specifically a husband, and how we should never settle for anything les. He told us about a girl who made up a list of 60 things so she didn't have a boyfriend for like 3 years, but when she found one it was really great and it was all worth it. I'm going to do that and I might even post my list on here.
The most important thing that struck me of all was how he said that we should never get into a relationship with a guy who has a quality (or anything at all about him) that we hope will change. We have to only be in relationships with people who we want to say exactly the same forever. Which makes perfect sense to me because if you love them exactly as they are, that's true love. So that was my ramble of the day. Any thoughts on this anyone? See you all tomorrow!!

I just read over my last entry and it sounds so depressing! How horrible! My life is really not as bad as I sometimes make it seem lol. I'm sure tonight will be fun...I hope they have pizza!

I'm tired and I won't be getting to bed until late. I'm coming back to school for In Your Daughter's Shoes and I have to start my paper for English. And finish it lol. I miss someone. Bye

Boo I'm tired

Ok so this is for bubo! lol
Well tonight was NOT a good night like one of my favorite songs says lol. It's annoying. I feel really bad because my brother was really upset about something horrible that happened earlier. I'm so upset that it happened. I would specify but I feel like if I go into the details then I'll get even more upset all over again. But it was a really scary thing that happened and I really just hope that everything is ok. And if that weren't bad enough, I got an annoying email from a person that i really don't like at this moment in time. This person really hurt me and now I have to deal with this person again and it's not going to be fun. I don't know we'll see what happens. On a better note, I submitted my University of Illinois application! and I just want to get in so bad. Like I'm kind of upset tonight but thinking about going to U of I makes it all so much better. I can't wait to get to college that way I can live my own life and live it the way I want to. But at the same time I don't want to leave my school bc I absolutely love everyone there. Friends and teachers and even just the building lol. But too soon to think about that now so I'm just trying to enjoy my last year at Tepeyac. See you all tomorrow!

I finally finished my Holocaust paper! It's really long though...14 pages. The assignment only called for 6 but Ms. Ingram said I could do more if I wanted to. I also finished my UIllinois application today and I'm excited for that. I just want to have Noonan look it over and make sure it's good to go. Then I'll send it off. I also submitted my Marquette application so I need to fill out a transcript request form for that tomorrow. I'm excited to be getting things done, but I feel like I still have a lot to do so I need to set a good amount of time aside for that. Anyway, I have service tomorrow which should be good. I've got to get to bed now because my eyes are like closing...
G'nite!! :)

I'm so excited for our day off tomorrow! I don't have anything fun planned, but I'm happy I'll get to sleep in tomorrow. Especially since I think I'll be getting up early over the weekend, but it'll be worth it. I have to finish my Holocaust paper bc it's due on Thursday. That's what I'll b doing all day. How exciting....but it really isn't that bad because it's a good class but the part that bugs me is hearing the horrible things that went on. I've known about and learned about the Holocaust from a really young age, but it never gets any easier to hear the horrible atrocities. If anything, it keeps getting harder. I was looking through my Holocaust book and I started crying just looking at some of the pictures. I also cried reading some of the horrible anti-Semitic things that were said by people like Martin Luther and that man who I refuse to speak the name of but he all know who he is(the Austrian douche who is at mostly, if not completely, at fault for the Holocaust). It blows my mind to think that anyone could have such horrible thoughts about a group, or anyone for that matter. It's incredibly hurtful and it makes me just want to run over and tell all those evil people how wrong they are and show them how amazing Judaism and Jews are and how they are so plain stupid to think for a second that they aren't. I could probably go on for ever about this so I will sum this up and say that I hate nazis and skinheads and all of those evil satanic people. Anyway, wish me luck with my paper and I will see you all soon!!

P.S. I have to say, staying after school and sitting on the floor in the hallway with Bubo Liz, grad Liz, Val, Lauren, and Priscilla was a very good time. It was so kum-bah-yah. We started to sing it for a second lol. And Noonan kept coming out to tell us we should go work on college stuff, oh Blecca, how I love her, and she kept telling me to laugh lower bc we were making the AA kids feel jealous. SO FUNNY! Also enjoyed seeing Shudsie today...she's just my favorite person. I had a particularly good time calling her the 29 year old virgin, bc it is so obviously NOT the case! She's awesome. I have to go shopping btw! AH! I need a Rosh outfittttttt.....oh the excitment!!
Ok I'm peacin' for real kids....
Bye!

Omg today is hilarious andrea broke her finger and it looks like she has one of those foam fingers!! And it's only on her middle finger...OH CLASSIC

Hey guys,
today was NOT the greatest day. I feel sick, my head hurts, blah. The one good thing was that the admissions counselor from U of I came to our school and I stayed for a bit after to talk to her wc Noonan advised. So I go up to her and say I just wanted to introduce myself and like the space cadet that I am, I forget to tell her my name. So I felt kind of stupid. Kind of a lot. Have to go do homework and hopefully get to bed early. Night

Not much going on right at this moment. I've taken the evening to de-stress lol. I took a really long nap a while after getting home and woke up like 3 hours later. I had dinner and took a relaxing bath, not sure if that is TMI (too much info) but anyway it has helped. Normally I'd go out and do something but school has me so worked up that I needed a break. I don't have too many plans for the weekend. I plan on doing my million assignments and I'm excited for Slichot services tomorrow in prep for Rosh Hashannah next week. That'll be fun. Until next time! :)

TGIF!!!!

Certain subjects in school are just KILLING me it is so annoying I need and want a break.....!!!!

Today was my first day at service! So I have to admit I was kind of nervous about it at first. Looking back though, I have no idea why because it turned out to be great. Lauren and I got paired up to work (do service) at the food pantry in the old convent lol. So walked over there bc it's so insanely close, and we met the nurse who runs the pantry. Her name is Dona and she is really sweet and attentive. She kind of gave us a run through of what we were supposed to do which is relatively easy because we just have to fill bags with food for the families. It was only my first day, but it was already very eye opening. It honestly just mad me sad because I don't know if I realized how many people actually need the food pantry and how that is their only source of food in some cases. So that makes me sad and I think it's so unfair that not everyone has easy access to one of the most essential and basic needs that we have. The thing that makes me the saddest is thinking about the families that have to come and get their food here. I had a really hard time not overstuffing the bags even though we need to distribute evenly. Actually, I filled every bag to the brim because I feel bad being the one who decides what families can and can't have. I wish we could have the families make lists and write down the things that they need and like the most to make sure we get those in there, as well as how many because if they have larger families they need more. But I told my dad about it and he told me that he will tell the people at the company he works for about it and have them donate bread because big companies always just throw away perfectly fresh and good bread and it is just such a waste. Which reminds me of this documentary I saw on people who go "dumper diving" wc essentially is people who are trying to help the earth and consume less by salvaging food that was thrown away even though there was absolutely nothing wrong with it. Some of the food is still in its original packaging so seeing all the amazing food that they salvaged was mind blowing. And it was clean. It def. has a gross connotation, but it helps create less waste and get good use out of food that is perfectly good and necessary. The other thing that was crazy to me at the pantry was how the food was brand name food. I just figured that a food pantry would have generic brands but they had some of my favorites, including Manischevitz, which is my ALL-TIME favorite and I also found hilarious because it is run by a church (my school). And they had all kinds of Trader Joes and Whole Foods things so that was pretty neat. It made me happy to see that we were giving out food that they might not have been able to get otherwise. That was cool. Also Andy S from Nesiya called me today to let me know that the Nesiya apps are going out within the next week or 2 so to get ready to sign up. I want to do Nesiya so bad I can't even describe it. I will give more deets on that later but now I have to go do my english paper and some other homework.
Peace!

Mr. Mac is killing me. I guess we were supposed to blog last night and I didn't because I also have lots of other homework and forgot to sign on here. I get it but I'm seriously overwhelmed with everything we have to do. I start service today in a little while. We'll be leaving school at 2 and I'm working at the Food Pantry so I'm excited to see what I'll be doing. I'll be done around 4 and after that I'm coming back to school to work on my U of I app w noonan. So I will b home late and anyway I'll jsut spend my night doing all the million hw assignments i have. I'm so tired. More later.

BTW GUYS!! WHO IS IN TO MAKE THE YOUTUBE PAGE TO GET KINGS OF LEON FOR PROM?? or is there anyone who wants anyone else? I personally would LOVE the killers...and I also think it would be a good idea to get this to oprah and appeal to her!! what do u guys think??

Brand new week...not much to say at this moment. Kind of feels like theres a lot going on that I'm going to have to miss out on. Like tomorrow's show, which makes me sad. And the black eyed peas show. It's kind of annoying that streets are blocked because of them though so I had to push back things I had to do. Mr. Mac is talking right now. He's so funny.
I'll write more later.

also y does my blog always say i posted things 2 whole hours before I actually did? the last one says something like 11:18 and its actually 1:29 lol. mr. mac? care to help? c ya soooooonnnnnnnnn

Hey guys!
So I'm sorry I didn't post over the weekend...I was confused on whether it was homework or not. Anyway, I wanted to blog but was tired whenever I had spare time. So luckily this is a 3 day weekend! Long weekends are nice although I'm not going to lie, they can get a little boring. I need to be busy, otherwise I don't know what to do with myself lol. Saturday I worked on physics homework and college essays and today, or is it yesterday now? well either way, sunday, i met up with an old friend wc was very nice and fun. Tomorrow, or today i guess, I have plans with yeseniva to go to the moviesss....and i want to see the time traveler's wife but all of my friends are like boys in that they don't like chick flicks! lol. but i love them. so we might watch inglorious basterds which I'm sure I'll have some things to say about if we do watch it. :) . Anyway, I'm so tired. I should prob get to bed. Oh my Goodness!! random side note, I'm listening to "this river is wild" by the killers now and it just is so beautiful!! Anyone with me on that?? I WANT TO MARRY BRANDON FLOWERS SO HE CAN SERENADE ME!! lol. ok delirium has officially started to set in so I'm peacin' out for now....night :)

Hello world!
I'm writing from my computer class where mr. mac said my last blog entry was too long for him to read! that made me sad lol. actually not really but read my blog please mr. mac!! remember, you're my favoriteeeee :)

Hello friends!!
I'm really excited for this blog. I feel like a blog is the coolest homework assignment I've ever gotten :) I'm also in LOVE with this class. Mr. Mac is the coolest and all of the girls we have are awesome! We have lots of fun and I'm looking forward to spending the rest of the semester with you all :)
Today was a really good day. The first part of it was kind of annoying because we had to go to church. I don't want to be disrespectful, but church is extremely awkward for me as I'm not christian. PROUD JEW. Luckily after church, the day went by very quickly. We got to go to computers, which I must admit is probably my favorite class, and after that was college boot camp. That was good, I got some more of my personal statement done without getting too worked up about it like I usually do. Walked home with Mery, came home to my puppy, changed, went to therapy, and then went to see my bestie on her last night in chicago. She leaves for college in Denver tomorrow morning and I'm really sad about it. I'm trying not to be so upset about it bgecause I know she'll be coming back often, but it's just hard thinking that she won't be in the city at home if I feel like seeing her or if I need her. We went to Berry Chill. Yummiest place ever. I'm not going to lie, I over-indulged and ordered twice. First one was medium original with choc. chips and bananas and the second one was small with pb and banana granola and strawberries. I figured it was ok as I didn't eat too much today. So now I'm home trying to finish my homework and I'm overwhelmed at the thought of it bc I know I'll be up at least until 1. I will post again tomorrow!
Peace :)